March Madness....how to survive

 

This marriage advice book (by Dr. John Lund) that I've been reading in the evenings and sharing highlights with Mitch, has been pretty insightful. I've learned that men need to know the parameters of any assignment or favor, meaning how long it will take, what it will involve etc. I learned that men can only devote 100% of their attention to one thing at a time while all other activities get 30% or less. Women can usually give 100% to each activity simultaneously so that's why we find it very frustrating that our husbands can't listen to us talk about our day while watching sports. We should not expect them to, it's against their anatomical makeup. Instead, Dr. Lund suggests asking our husbands ahead of time (before the TV goes on) if we can have 15 - 20 mins of talking time a night. Then they know to plan their game-watching around that and anticipate its occurrence on a regular basis. In that case most men, Lund says, are more than willing to give up this time each day. I've also learned to plan my interruptions during commercials or ask him how much longer the game will take. That way it puts my needs on his radar so when the game's over he knows I need his attention next. I'm also starting to come up with activities that I can do in the same room while he watches games so that we can still be together. I get on my laptop, check email, work on a photoshop project, organize photos, find recipes, pinterest, stretch, read, do a craft project etc. He enjoys having me in the room even though I'm not watching and I can be productive and not get frustrated by my aversion to watching sports.

Overall, the best advice we've received, for any situation, is to be respectful and never criticize. I would include that this means not complaining to other women about how much sports watching our husband or boyfriend does. Women have the uncanny ability to commiserate over a vast number of things, let's not make one of those our husbands' habits or faults.